Monday, November 18, 2013

No, Landon. You may not say that word!

When you live with two boys ages 13 and 8, the air is filled with crude and questionable vocabulary. I'm very careful what and how I say things, as they are always on the alert for me to slip up. Yesterday, Landon busted me.
Already on a tear for something else Gary was supposed to do and hadn't, I walked into his room and noticed an almost empty gallon of sweet tea partially under his bed. I neither buy sweet tea, nor allow food outside the kitchen. He'd had multiple friends over this weekend, so it must've traveled to our house with one of them. I demanded, "Why is there a gallon of tea in your room? Where did this come from?" I was met with three blank stares. Peering at Landon I asked, "Is it yours?" He shook his head no. I glared at Gary, "Is it yours?" He silently shook his head no. With the same angry tone I asked Austin, "Is that yours?" He continued to shake his head in unison with the other two. No one uttered a sound. I knew they were guilty, but I wasn't asking the right question. I grabbed the jug, held it up, and noticed that it was a little off color. Then I gasped, and before I could catch myself I screamed, "Is this piss????"
Their faces changed from fear to total shock followed by uncontrolled laughter. It took Landon all of 2 seconds to announce, "Mom said a bad word. I KNEW YOU SAID BAD WORDS!!! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!! CAN WE SAY PISS TOO????" 
Once the tension broke and laughter subsided, Austin admitted that he'd brought it over and forgotten to take it home the night before.

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